Forgive

Let me live in the past tonight

I go there alone

No matter where the mind wanders

It can’t hold your hand here

Can’t take your strength

I need to go back

And wander

The rooms of my existence

Before you came

Pick up those memories

Like ornaments to be examined

Look at them closely

Blow the dust that gathers

And increases their menace

Blow it off to reveal

Innocent endeavour misconstrued

Put them down

And move on

And forgive

And in moving through those rooms of the past

Come across,

Finally

A covered mirror

Unveiled

Regard the face there

And finally forgive

That one most blamed by me

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Deadlines

I walk in the town

Where my son lives

Deadlines tie him

With no time to give

I watch at a table a son

And his mother

Laughing show pictures

Have fun with each other

I read in the paper

On coffee shop table

Of mother and son, missing, unstable

A smiling photo, chubby twinkle

Stares out from report, heart sinking

Tears, blur vision, drop in cappuccino

Reservoir dragged, bodies found, final

And the cheeks of the baby

Will never grow slim

To be the man laughing

His mother with him

Or moaning that more notice should be given

To bestow a five minute visit

On a mother unbidden

From grief at my lonely existence

I cry for the boy, his mother, this nonsense

That life takes us all

At one time or another

Casts a knife between

A son and his mother

The story in the news

Deadlines

Lines of dead

It’s November,

That baby didn’t want to go swimming

In that reservoir

All those dreams

Flowing a future in droplets

Of water

Drunk by others into their system

I hope they honour that

Dead Child

Dead child

I am not spinning around in your arms

I am not getting sweets with my charms

I am not playing a puzzle with friends

A bullet and knife is where my life ends

I haven’t known a day without fear

I haven’t felt a family near

I am broken from birth to the grave

Time counted in months was all that life gave

I know you fear me though I am just small

I don’t know you, don’t know you at all

I know you have children precious to you

My mother died crying because she knew

I woke in her arms still safe

Protected from breathing the dust of hate

Her eyes were dull sparkle gone

No answer to Mama?

2, alone

I am not a human to you

I am not a child

To you I am a ticking bomb

About to go wild

Support your own

By rote your favourite saying

What child of ours deserves to be slain

Support, love, universal truths

sperm egg the colour of youth

The future, the smile, the reaching out hand

Stopped in dead children spread over the land

A curse not from my lips will ever come

As blood seeps to earth dried by bitter sun

Remembrance flowers grow from the earth I nourish

Your little plot protected to flourish

I am only a child

I love to laugh

And when I cry

To have a hug,

Mum worried about my chesty cough

But now dead because I am shot.

My eyes stare now I don’t see

Tell me how the world will be

Lying broken, dead not asleep

No lullaby sung and no sweet dreams

EMcGinty 2017

First published in For The Many Not The Few Vol 1 compiled by CT Meek

Fiery Bird Show feat Dear Mr Pop Star author Dave Philpott & Jackfest Organiser Andy Mabbutt

In the first hour (13 mins in due to a tech hitch unusually not of my making 😉 of this week’s Fiery Bird Show on Radio Woking – Dave Dawson aka Philpott and his Dad Derek, have spent time writing to pop stars to point out the error of their ways, the inaccurate lyrics, the impossible assertions ‘No, Heaven cannot be a place on Earth Belinda!’ and, in many situations these pop stars wrote back, poo-pooing their assertions or sometimes admitting it caused them a reflective hour on whether they should continue music. Dave and Derek compiled a book called Dear Mr Pop Star which shares the collection of their hilarious exchanges. We spent half an hour talking about the process they went through, the things they got up to to reach people and how it all came about.

The second hour was all about Jackfest, a local fundraising gig put on by Andy Mabbutt and team to raise money for Shooting Star CHASE the hospice that supports his family and nephew Jack and so many other children locally. On 26 January Andy has organised a night of music at Fiery Bird, with DJ’s, 5 bands, raffles of signed merchandise from a variety of well known bands and much more. He spoke about the charity and shared some music from some of the bands playing as well as others who have donated items. Tickets for the event can be obtained here and more details here

To listen again to hear the show here – it starts 13 mins in

Play List

Small Man In Big Shoes – Steve Brookes

Spirit In The Sky – Dr & The Medics

Top of The Pops – The Rezillos

Got To Find A Better Way – The Sha La La’s

Dirty Rock n Rolla – Rollin Machine

Standing On The Top – Stone Foundation

You Are – Argonaut

Mango – Birdsworth

Ska Rhythm – Dakka Skanks

Vote For Me – The Specials

Soul Drummer – Ray Barretto

White Coats – Baxter Dury

Eddie Macdonald The Alarm – Fiery Bird Show

With thanks to Eddie Macdonald who was a lovely guest on 10 December – here is the catch up of his show with the lovely Pete Cole Farnborough Groove organiser. Eddie talked about his work in The Alarm, now with Smalltown Glory who are playing the next Farnborough Groove fundraiser on 22 December in aid of Alzheimer’s Research a cause close to many including him. He played some original tracks acoustically live in the studio and shared some fantastic tales of life on the road in one of the biggest bands of the 80’s.

Playlist

Something You said set the House ablaze -The Jam

Pretty Vacant – The Sex Pistols

Amhrán na bhFiann sung by Eileen Muckian

68 guns – The Alarm

Ever fallen in Love – The Buzzcocks

High High High – Eddie Macdonald Live Session

Sold Me down the River – The Alarm

The Deceiver – Eddie Macdonald Live Session

Just Be – Billy Liberator

A Broken Heart of A Northern Soul – Eddie Macdonald Live Session

Lily – The Velveteen Orkestra

Ghost of Rock N Roll – Eddie Macdonald

Come Tear Me Apart – Steve Pilgrim

Family – Cow

Porcelain God – A Very Deep Hole

Fifteen – Amber Richmond

https://www.mixcloud.com/radiowoking/fiery-bird-show-with-eddie-macdonald/

Twinkle Twinkle

I saw a murmuration

It reminded me

Of all those times

When sadness overwhelmed

I felt at the end

Outside, beyond the pale

Vilified and made insane

And scratching at my own psyche

I had nowhere else to go

But down

Check out

No one wants you here

You make their lives easier

By not being around

And then selfishly

As I stood in the cold night

And gazed upwards

Realised

It would rob me of the stars

That have been there poor

And rich

That have been a place to run to

Always

Always looking to the sky

In my everyday and my despair

The tree that overlooks

The mother tree

For mother me

The birds that swoop in community formation

The moon, enriches and inspires

I never knew it stole its light from the sun

Always thought it was its own regard

And

The stars

There, a path

But so brilliant that they are

Twinkle twinkle little star

You saved my life